THE CLUTTER OF DECLUTTERING

My post of June 24 wrote about my decision to downgrade my cabletelevision service to the most minimal lineup of broadcast channels. A commendable plan, if I do say so myself. The reality of actually doing it, however, was hugely frustrating. I won't bore you with the details of my television saga. Suffice it to say that it involved two appointments set up but missed by Comcast, four conversations with phone representatives quoting wildly different terms and prices, a visit from an installer who had yet another version of the service lineup, and a final phone chat with a supervisor named Anna who dealt very patiently with my by-now deeply irritated self. In the end, it turned out that very little of the information on which I'd based my original decision was accurate, most notably the cost savings promised. (As it turns out, 12 channels cost exactly seven bucks less than 89.) I'm currently rethinking my options; it may be that my life and focus are better served leaving the TV as is and changing the way I use—or abuse—it instead. I'll post about that this weekend, once I have my mind made up and my plan (re)clarified.

In the meantime, two takeaways I can share from this experience. Nothing earth-shattering here, just some reminders that may be helpful as you, like me, move toward greater clarity and focus in your life.

First, that decluttering can take more time and energy that we expect. Getting the TV turned off, withdrawing from a committee that sucks time and energy from your life, getting friends used to the fact that you don't pick up the phone during your writing hours, rolling investments over from disparate accounts into a single one, finding someone reliable to whom you can delegate something: in the short run, paring down actually involves spending extra time and effort, especially when anyone else is involved in the process. I know that in theory, but forgot it totally this time around, ending up rushed and stressed after those conversations with Comcast ate up a huge chunk of my Saturday.

And second, that it's okay to change your mind. I always struggle with this one...and did so even more than usual on the television issue since I'd already posted on this blog about it. My first reaction was to worry that changing my mind and keeping the TV as is would make me seem indecisive, or uncommitted to my creative life, or shallow, or (insert your criticism of choice here—I came up with a juicy bunch of them). I know deep inside how unlikely it is that anyone will make these kinds of judgments, yet just posting this update occasioned some anxiety. Yet if this experience was someone else's, I'd support their right to adjust their plans without question.

As this reminds me, the most damaging kind of clutter isn't "out there," but in our own minds and hearts.