CLASSES AND GROUPS: "Friend. Good!"

The quote in the post title above—"Friend. Good!"—is from Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's great novel Frankenstein, where it is uttered by Dr. Frankenstein's monster. I've always liked this tiny snippet, not just because friends are indeed good but also because it is so moving to hear these words uttered by a creature who is so many ways is monstrous, distorted, unlovable. They are deeply human words, from a painfully inhuman source.

I was reminded of this paradox by my recent DeClutter Your Creativity workshop and the first meeting of my mothly DeClutter Your Creativity group last Tuesday. When clutter of any kind overtakes us—in our space, our time, our obligations, our inner judgments or our inner demands—our first tendency is often to isolate ourselves. It feels safer when no one knows how overwhelmed we are. It feels safer when no one sees the way our stuff has taken over. It feels safer not to test the loyalty of those who claim to admire, like or love us. True, they've believed in us thus far...but surely when they realize how really (cluttered, messy, confused, fill in your own word here), they'll finally give up.

Clutter breeds confusion, self-doubt, and shame. Confusion, self-doubt and shame breed isolation. Isolation breeds clutter. So the cycle begins, and so it continues.

But it can be broken—and the best place to break it is not by clearing clutter, but by reaching out for companionship.

That's what is so deeply rewarding for me in offering my DeClutter Your Creativity classes and groups. I hope the content offered is helpful, but I'm also clear that the real transformation occurs as the participants talk, laugh, and bond. As each of them—each of us—sees that other competent, creative people struggle with the same issues we do, shame and isolation both begin to melt away. We change from isolated victims of inner wounds to a regiment of warriors all fighting the same battles, and from an assemblage of unconnected individuals to a group of friends.

We begin to feel human, rather than monstrous, again.

And from that moment, the cycle is broken, and the clutter begins, however slowly at first, to move away.

"Friend. Good!" Indeed. I thank all my students and group participants for reminding me of that. And I invite all of you who are reading this to reach out to someone today, now, no matter how many piles of stuff you have on your house or studio floor. Ask him or her over, or go out someplace fun. Do it first, before you try to clean up. If you can make it to the DeClutter Your Creativity group (next meeting is October 19 from 6 to 8 .m.), we'll welcome you with affection and laughter. But if not, just call a friend.